BRIDESMAIDS ASSEMBLE!

I never knew how difficult choosing bridesmaids and planning how to announce them would be.  Truthfully, there are so many meaningful and special girlfriends that I have had throughout my life that it was so hard to hone down a select few.  I wish I could make everyone a bridesmaid, but sadly it is cost prohibitive and gets wayyy to crazy.   

Last night was my surprise announcement to 9 very special ladies, (one being in Ohio).    We went to South Fin Grill on Father Capodanno Boulevard for dinner and drinks at around 8pm.  I was so excited; prepping for this event literally took me months.  I had been collecting little trinkets I found in stores, and ordering things off amazon and groupon, just for this special occasion. 

At Home Goods my sister and I found memorabilia boxes that are shaped like fake books. I bought one for each bridesmaid and then ordered 8 copies of “The Bridesmaid Guide: Modern Advice on Etiquette, Parties, and Being Fabulous” off amazon to place inside the Home Goods books.  Since some of my ladies are newbies at being a bridesmaid, I thought it would be a cute idea to get them started on the right foot with a “How To” book.  For Mandy, I bought her a guide for her maid of honor role, (a title to which she’s been vehemently guarding against other contenders like LJ!!)

I also included ring pops, little notepads with my own personal inscription reading, “Take notes because I am going to be a Bridezilla!” and a picture of me and each bridesmaid crazy glued in each book.  A cute little keepsake box for each one of my gals. 

Finding bridesmaids’ cards was difficult.  I found a few blank cards with pretty flower girls on the cover made by Papyrus.  They were perfect…and perfectly expensive.  My friend Laura remarked, “well somebody must be doing well” when she opened her card, HAHA!!

I rhinstoned each one of their cards that asked them if they would be my bridesmaid, which literally took hours.  I perfected the art of gluing the tiny stones on with tweezers.  Although I destroyed my good tweezers, and still can’t get the glue off my fingers, I am so happy with the finished product!  My poor dog accidentally rolled in my arts and crafts area which means I currently have a bedazzled pooch parading around my house, but it’s OK because she now looks fabulous. 

Before we sat at the dinner table I arranged everyone’s books around the table.  When my ladies arrived they had to search for which book was theirs. I had included tons of tiny crystals, easter grass, (the kind in the bottom of raffle baskets) and confetti which got everywhere, (messes are always fun!).

After dinner I still had one more surprise for the girls.  I needed it to be dark out, and I needed to be by the ocean. My final surprise called for a dinner by the boardwalk which is why I chose South Fin in the first place.  Months ago I had bought Sky Lanterns off of Groupon.  The advertisement boasted that it was 100% biodegradable, guaranteed to fly and flame retardant.  From my understanding, it is Chinese tradition to send these lanterns off during holidays like Chinese New Year; it’s a symbol of good luck. 

I gave each one of my surprised ladies their very own lantern to light.  The lanterns were supposed to look like this:

But wound up looking more like this:

None would catch fire or float!  We had random, seedy strangers staring at us on the boardwalk screaming, “Yo girls are startin' fires yo!”  I think the wind played a big factor in my surprise’s demise.  We had to move away from the building because SOMEBODY decided to get married in the hall and I didn’t want to set their celebration ablaze.  How rude!

So picture 9 shivering ladies standing on a dark boardwalk with giant white paper bags, (that looked like cartoon grandma bloomers) trying to set fire to each and letting them go in the wind.  Hysterical.  I honestly did not think it would be as dangerous as it was.  The Chinese must have massive brushfires the day after New Year’s.  Finally, we succeeded in getting one to light, only to let it go and have it smash into a railing and crumble in a fiery heap on the boardwalk.  Stomping out a fire in tiny Steve Madden flip flops was definitely the highlight of my night.  Thankfully, my bridesmaid Laura exacted her first duty by joining me in stomping out the flames in her size 5 stiletto heels.  HAHA!!

So now I have about 30 extra lanterns collecting dust in my closet at home.  (I REALLY liked the lanterns).  In hindsight, the best place to do this would probably be on a boat in the open ocean.

 So, with charred feet and all, I would like to thank each one of my girl’s for accepting my invitation to be my bridesmaid.  They got me through life when it was hard to get through on my own, and each ofd them will always be there no matter how much time elapses or how much distance separates us-thank you Laura A., Laura C., Jen N, Jen M., Maureen, Krissy, Lana & Katie for being a part of my new journey!

And the biggest thank you to my sister, Mandy, my Maid of Honor, (as if there honestly was any doubt!).     

Also, a big shout out to the rain, because I was seriously concerned that a rogue ember would light that boardwalk up after we left and papers the next day would have captions like “Bridesmaids from Hell!”  

In Sickness and In Health

For the last week and a half I have been sick as a dog.  Few things are worse than being sick.  You are uncomfortable, in pain, and tired.  My sinuses were so clogged that I periodically turned on the stove tea kettle and put my face in the path of the piping hot steam to relieve some of the pressure.  I recommend this to anyone suffering the same affliction.  The worst part about being sick is that you try to do things that you normally do, like going to work or seeing a loved one, and you only realize what a bad decision that was while you are sitting in your office at 9:00am with an 8 hour work day ahead of you or horrifyingly coughing up mucus on your boyfriend at the movies.  Awesome.

On Saturday I decided I had been resting long enough and that I could cheat one night to go out to dinner with the boyfriend and his friend’s family.  That was tough. I guzzled coffee and even broke my soda rule in order to get sufficient caffeine and sugar in me to stay awake. 

Ruminating on what a bad idea it was for me to agree to go out that night I found myself seated next to an 80 something year old couple, (grandparents of Frank’s friend) at the dinner table.  I really do enjoy speaking with older people.  They have lived whole lives and have so many interesting stories to tell, if your willing to listen.  Anyways, what I found so wonderful about this evening is the way this husband and wife loved each other so much without saying it.  I read somewhere that statistically almost half of all marriages in NY State fail.  That is terrifying.  But here are two people, who found each other while still in their early teens, who have been together ever since.  This gives me hope.

From the caressing touches the husband placed on his wife, gently stroking her shoulder and cupping her hand, it was evident he adored her.  When she said she was cold he automatically rubbed her arm.  To find a love like this is rare and something I wish for everyone.  As the dinner plates were slowly being cleared away by the busboy the elderly husband pulled out his wallet.  He leafed through it looking for a business card when I spotted a few wallet sized photos.  One was of a stunning young girl in what appeared to be a prom dress.  The picture was faded and course around the edges.  I asked him who it was.  His answer didn’t surprise me.  Here is an 84 year old man still carrying pictures in his wallet of his wife when she was younger, and he was so proud to show me.  The love he had for her was so endearing.  Then he showed me a picture of her in a bathing suit, (those old school one piece women’s swimsuits that were scandalous for the 1930’s).  He turns to me and says; “look at those legs and ass!”  His wife was beaming. 

Even though now grey and wrinkled, they still displayed the youthfulness of love.

Love isn’t shouting from the rooftops for everyone to hear.  Love is a very private, silent knowing between two people.  When money, youth and beauty are long gone, all that is left is the company of the other’s personality.

I hope everyone finds someone who will carry his/her picture in a wallet.  There’s no greater loneliness than walking this Earth alone.  While I have been increasingly pessimistic about the institution of marriage, here standing before me was a testament to true love; a love that has lasted through decades and left indelible marks on each of their souls.  I hope everyone is just as lucky.