In Sickness and In Health

For the last week and a half I have been sick as a dog.  Few things are worse than being sick.  You are uncomfortable, in pain, and tired.  My sinuses were so clogged that I periodically turned on the stove tea kettle and put my face in the path of the piping hot steam to relieve some of the pressure.  I recommend this to anyone suffering the same affliction.  The worst part about being sick is that you try to do things that you normally do, like going to work or seeing a loved one, and you only realize what a bad decision that was while you are sitting in your office at 9:00am with an 8 hour work day ahead of you or horrifyingly coughing up mucus on your boyfriend at the movies.  Awesome.

On Saturday I decided I had been resting long enough and that I could cheat one night to go out to dinner with the boyfriend and his friend’s family.  That was tough. I guzzled coffee and even broke my soda rule in order to get sufficient caffeine and sugar in me to stay awake. 

Ruminating on what a bad idea it was for me to agree to go out that night I found myself seated next to an 80 something year old couple, (grandparents of Frank’s friend) at the dinner table.  I really do enjoy speaking with older people.  They have lived whole lives and have so many interesting stories to tell, if your willing to listen.  Anyways, what I found so wonderful about this evening is the way this husband and wife loved each other so much without saying it.  I read somewhere that statistically almost half of all marriages in NY State fail.  That is terrifying.  But here are two people, who found each other while still in their early teens, who have been together ever since.  This gives me hope.

From the caressing touches the husband placed on his wife, gently stroking her shoulder and cupping her hand, it was evident he adored her.  When she said she was cold he automatically rubbed her arm.  To find a love like this is rare and something I wish for everyone.  As the dinner plates were slowly being cleared away by the busboy the elderly husband pulled out his wallet.  He leafed through it looking for a business card when I spotted a few wallet sized photos.  One was of a stunning young girl in what appeared to be a prom dress.  The picture was faded and course around the edges.  I asked him who it was.  His answer didn’t surprise me.  Here is an 84 year old man still carrying pictures in his wallet of his wife when she was younger, and he was so proud to show me.  The love he had for her was so endearing.  Then he showed me a picture of her in a bathing suit, (those old school one piece women’s swimsuits that were scandalous for the 1930’s).  He turns to me and says; “look at those legs and ass!”  His wife was beaming. 

Even though now grey and wrinkled, they still displayed the youthfulness of love.

Love isn’t shouting from the rooftops for everyone to hear.  Love is a very private, silent knowing between two people.  When money, youth and beauty are long gone, all that is left is the company of the other’s personality.

I hope everyone finds someone who will carry his/her picture in a wallet.  There’s no greater loneliness than walking this Earth alone.  While I have been increasingly pessimistic about the institution of marriage, here standing before me was a testament to true love; a love that has lasted through decades and left indelible marks on each of their souls.  I hope everyone is just as lucky.