Cheers to almost 30 years!

Hello world!  It has been far too long since my last post.  I am currently 9 days away from my 29^th birthday.  Now while I know that 29 is not old by any measure, I cannot help but feel a sense of impending doom as these days too quickly melt away.  In reality, it sorta, kinda is my 30^th birthday since I spent 9 months in the womb and then 364 days after that until my first birthday.  Yeah, wrap your minds around that! 

                There are plenty of things that have made me feel old that I have realized as of late.  I began the painful process of sorting through my entire wardrobe for the transition to my new, big girl house.  I had to look at articles of clothing that I absolutely adore and throw them out because, alas, they were simply too young for me to wear anymore.  Betsey Johnson, we had a good run!  The lowest point of this sorting process was when my husband, (that’s weird) saw me sitting in piles of clothes and garbage bags on the floor cutting up clothing before I threw pieces away.  “Why are you doing that Cynthia?” Well why not?!  When in reality, the answer was much more obvious, “So I don’t garbage dive my own trash and retrieve these golden gems, DUH!”  But that would be impossible to explain to a man.

            Another great one is going to a bar and feeling like THE OLDEST PERSON THERE.  I remember how I scoffed at older patrons in the bar when I was in college, regarding them as ancient relics, and now I look at these younguns' getting shitfaced and hardcore making out in a bar and I skeeve touching the barstool.  For God's sake, I now leave every bar bathroom with the stealth of a ninja, a far cry from my days laying on the subway floor waiting for the good ole' PATH train. When did this happen?!

           Do not even get me started on how old you feel when you begin home improvements. I remember walking into someone's home a few months ago and saying, "wow, I really like your backsplash!" And the teenage daughter who was there said, "you are kidding me right?"  Abashed, I couldn't say that I was nose ring girl.

                I suppose I can rebel and stay a kid forever, be reckless, get wasted, stay out late and start drama wherever I go, but that’s just too exhausting now.  There is a part of me that truly misses doing what I wanted with sheer and utter disregard for the consequences.  Now, every decision and move I make is carefully calculated.  How boring.  If I were to go back in time 21 year old Cindy would slap the crap out of myself for not being a millionaire by now, or at least ruler of the world, (seriously, that’s the expectation I had for myself).  I guess the worst part of growing up is feeling like I am losing my creative edge, my spark.  Being responsible is so much work.  I can completely understand how people can live dual lives, and I believe everyone does to an extent.  It is impossible to wear the same mask with every experience we encounter throughout life.

                There was plenty of excitement in this last year for me.  Between getting married, a new house, and my batshit crazy family and friends, there were simply no brakes on the looney train in terms of something new happening.  There are also plenty of things that I am looking forward to, like watching my niece and nephew grow, friends’ wedding and the arrival of their newborns, vacations, adventures, learning more about my new hubby, and eventually motherhood, (which is about 3,901,473 bottles of Wells Banana Bread Beer and 8,450,395 bottles of wine away).   

                So, as I look nostalgically on the year past and come to terms with entering the last year of my 20’s, (oh my God I am having a panic attack), here is a couple of new birthday resolutions I would like to live by:

Age is just a number

Laugh more, like, a lot more

Travel to two different countries in my 29^th year

Have more confidence in myself

Be daring

Act silly

Dance more

Play soccer by myself more

TRY to run a marathon

Write more often

Spend more time with friends and family

Bite my nails and worry less

Be patient

Become a better person and more content with who I am and what I have achieved in life.

Figure out who I am supposed to be.

Okay so the last one may take longer.  Feel free to add to this, as I am sure I will.

Cheers to almost 30 years!