In-Flight Fears

Wanting to be a world traveler is tough when you are terrified of traveling. My job recently offered the opportunity to attend a week-long training in Uruguay.  I have never been, and one of my bucket list goals is to visit every country in the world, (as far fetched as that is) so this is right up my alley.  However, I have a crippling, debilitating fear of flying.

Indeed, my fears have become progressively worse over time.  In my younger days I was fearless and immortal, a far cry from the cowering creature that scribbles impromptu wills shoved under my pillow before traveling anywhere. 

So why this overwhelming anxiety over flying?  Statistically they say you are more likely to get into a car accident than a plane crash; however I find this statistic grossly skewed because the number of times you drive is far greater than the times you will fly in your lifetime.  Also, the probability of one walking away from a fender bender unscathed is insanely higher as opposed to walking away from a plane crash.  You do not get fender benders in the sky.  You hit a goose in the air you go down, (as evidenced by the miracle on the Hudson) you hit a goose on the street and you get a messy windshield.

This leaves me in a most uncomfortable conundrum.  I have tried sleeping pills and muscle relaxers to help ease my nerves during the plane ride, however my adrenaline pumps so hard while in transit that the pills only become effective when we land.  Once I got so hysterical on a plane ride from Florida, which is a mere two hour flight (in my defense we hit the WORST turbulence), that the kindly flight steward brought me warm, first class Mrs. Fields cookies to pacify me like a child.  Score on the munchies, but screwed by my embarrassment. 

My poor boyfriend exits planes with 10 tiny nail marks on his knees and hands, and with frazzled nerves from spending hours trying to get me to calm down.  From all this you would think I have only flown a handful of times in my life but no, I have been to Jamaica, Italy,(three times) Brazil, suffered plane rides to different states for collegiate soccer games, Las Vegas, (twice) Aruba, the Bahamas, Florida and Cali.  You would think I would get better with this stuff. 

As if I do not have enough of my own neuroses to drive me mad, I start suspiciously eyeing travelers behaving weirdly or flying solo.  Why is that carry-on luggage so oddly shaped?  Forget the panicked look on my face when the turn seatbeats light blinks on, you should see me when I spot a morbidly obese woman two rows ahead of me.  Will the equilibrium of the plane be thrown off?  Why are so many people standing waiting for the bathroom?! Why is that mother allowing her child to JUMP on the plane?  Didn’t the pilot look rather young?

Did you know the highest risk of a plane crashing is during take off and landing?  That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  I had previously dismissed being hypnotized but now that treatment method seems much more alluring considering how much this fear is stifling my lifestyle.

Needless to say, I am still vacillating on whether or not to go to Uruguay.  I envy those that take a plane ride like it’s a bus ride and not a monumental life changing experience like it is for me every time.  I am totally open to any therapeutic remedies, so please send along your advice freely; because a life spent hiding is a life not lived.